How to find “Self-Success” with 5 simple strategies

There’s a saying that most of us have heard at least once in our lives, “You can do anything you set your mind to.” Sound familiar? It’s a beautiful saying, but what does it mean? If I were to take it at face value, it claims that as long as I thought about something long enough, eventually it would come to me in due time. This seems true enough, but if I think about being an author, that, alone, will not make me an author. If I want to become an author then I need to write, edit, then research how to become reputable and attractive to publishers and readers. But what’s deeper than that? When you want something bad enough, life on the outskirts shift, shatter, and realign in ways that we are not usually prepared for. When your heart is set on grasping that lifelong dream, you have to set yourself apart. Sometimes, even erase most all of what you know so that you can be reconditioned for the next level. Below are 5 tips that are, without a doubt, part of the process to reach greater heights on the path to becoming closer your personal success.


Courage is a trait that we are (hopefully) born with, however, requires constant reinforcement as we grow up. Training our mind and actions to venture into the unknown for the purpose of acquiring something that we want takes courage!! It takes courage to follow through on making necessary changes to turn that desire into reality. It usually means convincing yourself to do things differently, and then alert people around you so they understand that any noticeable changes are intentional. That can be scary, right? When I decided to stop drinking alcohol, I had to build courage to change the action, then tell my loved ones that I was serious about it so they would understand my decision. Honestly, the worst part of telling them was my concern about what they may think or say. Like “Oh, she has said that one before.” Once I had those conversations, though, it’s been sort of a cake walk. I still think about having a drink from time-to-time, especially when I am out with friends, but instead, I want to remain true to my word and sense of self. Courage is mind over matter, and you are the only one who can control it.


There is a great Children’s Book called What Do You Do With an Idea? written by Kobi Yamada. I love the concept because it talks about the nurturing of your ideas, which I like to think of as your passion. The book explains that when you share your idea with people, they may laugh at or misunderstand it because it’s not their idea; it’s yours. Your passion was given to you to be your’s to pursue. And this is so very important. If a deep desire causes a glow within and through you, please believe me when I tell you that it is sitting on your heart for a BIG PURPOSE, and you need to believe that. Your belief in your capabilities supersedes anyone else’s here on earth. Do you want to know what some of my favorite examples of success are? The man or woman who didn’t have anyone to believe in them; the ones who were turned down by multiple companies because they didn’t believe in the demand for their product. I am enamored by the people who were living paycheck to paycheck and still believed in themselves, which led them to become self-established and able to share their success stories. You need to become your biggest fan and change the voice in your head from “I can’t” to “I can”, because you really do have what it takes.


YAYYY! This is one of my favorite subjects because I am obsessed with responsibility for one’s own destiny! Personally, the best takeaway I received from college was the control I had over my grades, and the education that I received. I chose my class schedule, and my level of self-discipline would determine whether I had passing grades or not. My professors did not ask me if I needed help; I needed to go to them if I didn’t conceptualize what they were teaching. After high school, I have learned that nobody can force me to become educated. I have to want it. You have want it. We live in an era of readily-available resources; take advantage of them! You don’t know how to do something? Google it or find it on YouTube, buy a book on the topic you’re interested in, and read the whole dang thing! Follow accounts on Instagram that interest you, listen to an audible on the way to work; the answers you’re seeking are out there, but you have to want them. Become obsessed with it until you begin to see results, but do not stop there; keep going.


Everything about this process is bittersweet, and, at times, is my least favorite stage. However, it is part of the cycle. I remember being in middle school, and I was so mad at my step-father for telling me that my best friend wasn’t going to be my best friend forever. *Immediate heartbreak* As it turns out, though, he was right (even though I still love the person we were talking about to death)! As we grow older and take on bigger responsibilities that are dependent on our decisions and actions, people and things drift apart so that we can remain focused on our adult-themed goals. That doesn’t necessarily lessen the importance of those individuals in your life, as they certainly served a valuable purpose at a certain time, and it certainly does not make people indispensable, but sometimes we just have to detach in order to move forward. As I mentioned before, this is not my favorite stage and I wish I would have given some friends a much longer hug goodbye, had I known it would be the last time I would see them. Letting go of meaningful friendships is hard, but it’s a testimony of faith. Almost like beginning a new workout regimen; you must put the chips and dip aside, eat healthy and exercise before you see results. And even though it would be a cool ideal if it did, it won’t work the other way around.


To end positively, remember that everyone likes an encourager! Over time, you will begin to attract your true support system. Some will be close friends or family, and others will be acquaintances or even people you have never actually met. You will also find yourself becoming an encourager for people who are influencers for you. If not, you should probably check in with yourself and ask “Why am I sippin’ on haterade?” Because it is fun to follow people on social media who are portraying the lifestyle that I desire because of the constant reminder to stay focused. It is true that becoming successful is ground work, however, there are always people out there who are willing to hold your hand and lift you up as you go through the process. So go out and find them if you’re not already surrounded by them. People want to believe in you, and need to hear your story of how you made it through the trials. Personally, I am always encouraged when I hear someone’s story, similar to mine, who didn’t allow their background to be the reason they couldn’t reach their destiny. So let this be your sign to go out and be the person God created you to be – which is nothing short of greatness!

Photo Credit: Shelly Fingerlin

2 thoughts on “How to find “Self-Success” with 5 simple strategies

  1. I liked what you wrote and how you wrote it. I am careful not to turn my life into a project of self-improvement as I think that misses the point, for me…
    Sometimes it is good to let it roll and to roll with it…


  2. Hi Mike! Thank you so much! It’s true, that you can lose yourself in the process of self help. I definitely believe we need to always stick to our core values and like you said “let it roll and roll with it”!

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